Aghh! Pigeons!
by x.ghost-writer.x
Summary: For the ZA Angels write off challange Audrey's category ”How Gabriella and Sharpay come to terms with one another.”


**Ok, This one shot is for the ZA Angels write off (Audrey's category) "How Gabriella and Sharpay come to terms with one another." I would like to especially dedicate this to nana boomerz for her irrational love and adoration of all things pigeon. Also to Kristabell for all your support with this (look out for the squirrel :P) and to liam for just being so beetletastic! love ya all xxxx**

**It is basicallly just a random collection of rambles and me just being silly, but i hope you all like it :) let me know what you think. thanks xxxx**

**I own nothing.**

Gabriella Montez often made lists.

As a firm believer in order and a firm non-believer in anything that would go against the natural enthalpy of things, it seemed perfectly logical to Gabriella that lists were the perfect way to keep all of her thoughts organised. Just the way she liked them. This habit, although a little eccentric couldn't be classed as anything out of the ordinary by any means of reasonable justification.

More odd, perhaps, was the fact that she often visualised these non existent lists. They would be neat, of course, numbered down the left hand margin and contain no unnecessary scribbling that would agitate the pristine white surface of the faintly lined paper.

What's more, every night she would imagine tucking them away safely in a fictional leather binder at the back of her head. This meant no unnecessary scattering of paper when all activities which would require consultation with any particular list had ended. Yet such an organised filing system would still allow for easy access in the case of an emergency while she was sleeping. In these specialised situations her first instinct would be to consult the desired list, possibly only to be eaten by a bear during the process of searching for a solution. This is where many acknowledged the fact that she had crossed the line between sane and insane, between logical and illogical, after all what is so wrong with good old fashioned running for ones life?

Another amusing thing about these list was that most consisted of the same four things in a repetitive order.

For example Gabriella's list of 'things that will send me running down the street, screaming like a banshee and making a complete fool of myself in the process' consists of, in reverse;

4) Moths. It's the wings, there is no need for any animal to possess the superhero quality of flight. Its an unfair advantage over human kind.

3) Elevators. Slightly unfounded based on the fact that the eponymous inanimate object dose not possess the ability to move never mind the any sort of predatory instincts, but none the less they are terrifying.

2) Pigeons aka flying rats aka the devil in bird form.

1) A pink clad Sharpay in a fit of mass rage. Self explanatory.

This order is also true for the 'things that would make me hide under a rock, crying a new ocean, until I realise that I am being severely crushed by the weight of said rock on top of me' list as well as one quite simply entitled 'things that I don't like very much'.

Gabriella Montez very much trusted her list system despite dissenting popular opinion. She always had.

**CHAPTER 1: OF MOTHS AND MURDERERS **

On a humid Friday night in Albuquerque, New Mexico Gabriella lay sprawled out across her bed, earnestly flicking through pages of her chosen romantic epic from the pile of many which littered her room in quixotic fashion.

Alone because her Mother was out of town on business and deciding that the blaring light emitting from the bedside lamp did nothing to preserve the ambience of "Sense and Sensibility" she conceded to the fact that sleep was the best option.

Reluctantly placing the hard back novel down on the bedside table Gabriella began to gingerly peel back the layers of her bed coverings but was stopped by the eerie silence surrounding her.

Looking around, searching for the source of such an uneasy feeling she failed to find anything out of the ordinary and so proceeded in the menial task of climbing into bed, enjoying a sensation of what she could only equate to being engulfed by a giant marshmallow. Not that she'd know. She didn't regularly attain a habit of making acquaintances with inanimate food of the marshmallow variety, never mind allow such an object to 'engulf' her. She doubted many people would.

Although the thought of marshmallows did gave way to a desire for food and her stomach began to rumble loudly.

Almost as an earthquake would, the rumble caused the cabinet beside her to shake, releasing from its hidden depths a large flying object, the size of her fist.

"Aghhhhh MOTH! MOTH!" She screamed out breathlessly, springing out of her bed as fast as her body would allow her to move.

"Moth…trying.to.kill.me!…MOTH!" As if she hadn't in fact established far enough that there was indeed a moth travelling at agitated speed around her room she screamed some more. And louder.

"MOTH!!" Her thunderous cries for help and the amplification of volume emitting from the usually shy and timid girl would be enough for anyone to think that something was seriously wrong.

Grabbing the nearest thing to her, which in this instance happened to be her beloved English classic novel, she opened the pages and snapped them shut at lightning speed, relieved to see that the room was perfectly peaceful once more.

In her shame she rather hoped that her earlier cries of "moth" which would surely have been heard by the neighbours might have been mistaken for…"murderer?" It could happen. Moooottttthhhhh. Mooooottthhhurrrdddereer. Muuurrrdereerr. Its all the same really.

Ok…maybe it was better just _slightly_ more plausible to hope that no one had heard at all.

Opening up the pages of the book, to inspect the damage, Gabriella discovered that not only had she managed to kill one of the huuugest moths that she had ever seen without any assistance, she had also managed to re-write the pages of Jane Austin's classic. It now appeared that the Dashwood sisters had acquired a distant third cousin in the form of a large, fuzzy and more importantly, well and truly squished moth.. Ewwww. She guessed the looks ran in the other side of the family.

All in all, she believed it to have been quite an achievement for one night.

"Job well done I say." And with her breathing still slightly ragged she dusted her hands together and climbed back into bed.

**CHAPTER 2: A HEARD OF…CATS?**

After the calamity of the previous night, Gabriella had decided that some relaxation was in order, so she headed out to meet up with her friend, Taylor. It was just approaching September and school would be starting back soon but neither girl minded all that much seen as the both somewhat enjoyed school. But they kept that a secret as much a possible, they wouldn't want anyone to think that they were nerds, would they? And so both proceeded to complain along with their basketball playing boyfriends when really each was just bursting at the seem to have a good old conversation about math or physics or chemistry or anything that didn't involve a ball or a hoop. Unless the topic concerned the velocity and acceleration of the ball as it travelled towards the hoop, only to be hooped at an unknown time. Now that would make sport more interesting!

Ambling through Albuquerque town centre with distinct style and class Gabriella spotted Taylor Mckessie, just beyond the fountain, twirling her dark hair between her fingers whilst waiting for her friend to arrive.

Speeding up now that her ultimate destination was in sight she failed to notice the large rock that lay in her path, and shock, horror and huge surprise, that very rock was to cause her downfall. Literally.

Landing on the concrete ground with an almighty thump, any style and class had now completely disowned her and she mentally admitted that she looked, dare she say it, rather silly. Grrr how she hated rocks. They were always getting in her way, she swore they moved themselves into her line of walking just so she would fall over them. There was no other explanation!

Just as she was about to stand up, her mental cursing of rocks and her rueing of the day that they were ever brought into existence was abruptly ceased.

Making its way towards her, hobbling in a rather untimely fashion was quite possibly one of the fattest and most hideous pigeons she had ever seen. Quickly glancing around from her laying position in the middle of the town centre she realised that fatty was not alone. . From what she could make out there was an extremely scrawny one too, and a sort of small one, and one with an incredibly massive beak. It really is a shame that pigeons can't get nose jobs. In any case, closing in on her was, what she could only describe as one huge ass colony of street pigeons. They were actually surrounding her.

"Oh shit."

Ok. Ok. Calm. They can sense fear. She reassured herself, repeating the sentiments over and over again in her head, only then to realise that in the time she had taken to do this she could quite easily have fled the scene. Yet she still lay there, still lying flat on her back with a swarm of pigeons encroaching. Damn logical mind!

The smell of pigeon filled her nostrils and she noted that she was now glued to the spot in fear. She didn't remember pasting her back with glue that morning but she swore it was there all the same.

"Ok, use your brain woman!" she muttered to her self, just managing to speak through her erratic breathing, suddenly fearing the onslaught of a pigeon related heart attack.

Ever the perfectly sane one Gabriella, for all of her intellectual qualities could not come up with a single thing that would allow for an easy escape from the clutches of the death birds. Racking her mind the only idea that came to her attention was to give the pigeon a name. You know, to humanise it. And from this a rather comical scenario played out in her mind:

A name? Yes a name would do nicely she concluded, even if only to scream that very name when the named bird decided it was high time to begin pecking away at her skin, like only a bird with a name would do. Ok, how about Satan? No it had to be something more human, ehh, Steve? Oh right, sorry, didn't realise you were a lady pigeon. Margery? Yeah, that will do.

"Shoo Margery, shoo!" she offered, not caring in the slightest about the fact that she was addressing a pigeon by her Gran's name, or for that matter, the fact that she was speaking to a pigeon at all.

"Aghh get off my leg! Disease! Disease!"

Still lying in that same position with Margery now hoping freely up onto her new shoes, (which were surely destined for the bin if she ever got of this alive) she conceded to the fact that a name wouldn't save her, evidently no one around would save her, especially not that guy sitting stuffing his face with what looked like a ham sandwich while chuckling amusedly. Hell not even god could save her! Now a heard of erm…cats? That could work. No a stampede of cats! Giant killer cats! With razor sharp claws and poison fangs! Ugh where were cats when you needed them?!

On second thought, never mind that idea. She was allergic to cats. They made her sneeze.

"Help!"

**CHAPTER 3: THE DANDILION, THE WITCH AND THE ELEVATOR**

In everyone's life there comes those definitive moments that come to characterise the individual. Fight or flight? Run or hide? Ice cream or chocolate? What? That's a huge decision! Almost on the same scale as, what came first; the chicken or the egg?

This, apparently was Gabriella's moment and seizing the opportunity she ripped her self swiftly from her spot and made a mad dash towards the nearest shelter, leaving an army of pigeons traipsing after her with their beady eyes seeking blood and their general demeanour showing that they were out for the kill.

So chocolate it was then!

The moment passed in a flash, the adrenaline speeding up the process. One minute she was running across the cobbled square screaming bloody murder and the next she had resigned her self to the comfortable confines of a small box like opening, just through the doors of the nearest building.

Leaning against the cold metal wall for security she closed her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief until a distinguished and dreaded 'ding' sound caught her attention and slapped her, metaphorically of course, across the face.

Looking out in front of her she seen Taylor running wildly towards her, flailing her arms in circular motions. If it were a time for joking Gabriella would have suggested that her friend looked somewhat like the pigeons she had just previously cunningly escaped from.

"Gabi! Gabi! Get out! Get out of the…"

As the screen doors slid closed in front of her face, shielding her from her current view, both girls screamed simultaneously at the realisation.

"ELEVATORRR!!"

It really couldn't get any worse. This was it. She was on her way to rock bottom, or more to the point she was rocketing her way 6 stories up to the top of the large department store.

Her breathing was shallow, her heart was in her stomach and she felt faint and sick which caused her to stumble against the back wall. Only the last time she checked she was sure that walls didn't have legs, wear any thing embossed with sequences, or prettify their scent with a choking mix of what she could only describe to be dandelions pan fried in sugar.

Turing around, the fact that she was floating at what could possibly have been 1000000 feet above sea level or orbiting somewhere in outer space in a tin box suddenly seemed tame and desirable as she came face to face with the wicked witch of the west her self. Sharpay 'Fabulous' Evans.

And she was wearing pink.

Suddenly, and not for the first time that day, Gabriella was all out of words. She had conquered the moth! She had slain the pigeons! She was currently shuttling towards the stars in a rather unsound elevator! But this was one step too far. A cruel joke perhaps? She even shut her eyes hoping that when she reopened them again the pink one would be gone. Just like that!

Peeling her eyelids open, she inwardly cursed at the fact that she did not possess the ability to completely eradicate other human beings simply by wishing them gone. How unfair! Life's a bitch!

"Umm…Hey Sharpay?" She offered, following up her sentiments with a nervous giggle. Ok, throw a smile in there too? Still nothing?

Damn it! The cold heartlessness that was Sharpay seem some what resistant to her gesture, only narrowing her coffee eyes slightly in response. Gabriella couldn't work out whether this was a sign of rage or an epiphany of 'OMG how strange is this girl'.

Helplessly stabbing her hands at the buttons behind her she prayed that this stupid thing would stop soon so that she could run away, far far away, past the pigeons, past that squashed squirrel that she had seen on the road this morning and back to her lovely moth infested house where she would live in all the comfort of the perfect mothyness that was her home.

And then, salvation came as the elevator came to a jolting halt, the battered metal doors couldn't prise themselves open quickly enough and she began to back out, slowly but surely, rambling a not-so-fond farewell to the blonde haired figure that she had wished so hard to avoid.

"Well gee Sharpay…eh…I would love to stay and chat but you see…umm this is my floor. I need to get a…dress, yes a dress, for the party. For my party, to celebrate…er.. School?"

"Gabriella."

"Yes Sharpay?"

"This floor is men's wear"

"Oh."

And it was then that Gabriella realised that she might have been better off picking ice cream.

**CHAPTER 4: LIKE BIRDS OF A FEATHER**

After tentatively climbing back in to the elevator Gabriella noted the distinct stiffness of the uncomfortable air. Why wouldn't it be uncomfortable? It was only a matter of weeks ago that Sharpay, reining drama queen of East High School had tried to use all of the fancy money she possessed to lure _her_ boyfriend into her own grasp. It was only a matter of weeks ago that Gabriella had stood up for her self, telling Sharpay precisely what she thought of her antics. (It was a rather good speech if she did say so herself.) And it was only a matter of weeks ago that Gabriella had been left fearing for her own personal safety after she taught Sharpay a lesson that she was sure would never be forgotten.

Yet here she was, with her arch nemesis and she had already taken all that fear could throw at her in one day. She wasn't the type to hold a grudge, but she would not cave in all that easily either. And so the uncomfortable silence continued.

At level 5 Sharpay looked over, catching Gabriella's eye.

At level 4 It was her own turn to return the grand gesture.

At level somewhere between 3 and 2 each girl sighed loudly, hoping that their breath would lift the stuffy air.

And just as the elevator made that 'ding' sound again, signalling the end of its decent and the doors slid open, both girls stammered out the others name, blurting together in a kind of gracious harmony.

"Who's Sgharbriellpay?" queried a middle aged man, watching the scene unfold before him.

"Strange name for a girl, that is"

But Sgharbriellpay were pretty much oblivious to the fact that they had acquired an audience, waiting for access to the elevator.

Sharpay spoke first, in typical Sharpay fashion.

"Look Gabriella, I know we may never be best friends…I'm not even sure if I could handle it in all honesty…but, is there any way this can be less…"

"Awkward" The brunette finished.

"Yeah…awkward."

"Look ladies, some of us really need to get places, so if we could save this reunion for some other time and get out of the elevator!"

Both girls turned to give that pesky spectator a death glare. Couldn't he see they were in the middle of something extremely important! Each struggled to keep a straight face over how in sync their actions were.

At that moment Gabriella swore that in some alternative universe, she and Sharpay could have been best friends, but for now she'd settle for a bit of civility and understanding for the others position. Common decency could never really be refused.

Stepping over the threshold of the barrier to the shop Gabriella walked slightly ahead, setting their pace when she heard a scream coming from Sharpay who was walking about 5 steps behind her, most probably due to the height of her stilettos.

"AGGHHHHH!"

Turning around to see what all of the commotion was about she instantly observed, directly in her line of vision, Margery the pigeon pummelling through the sky, directly at them. All she needed was one of those cool hats and a pair of goggles.

"PIGEON!!"

Their unitary screams drew the attention of the entire town centre and as they ran as fast as their legs could carry them, it dawned on Gabriella that, aside from a certain affinity for one Troy Bolton, both she and Sharpay had a lot more in common than she first thought.


End file.
